No One is Watching

“What was once before you, an exciting and mysterious future is now behind you, lived, understood, disappointing. You realize you are not special. You have struggled into existence and are now slipping silently out of it. This is everyone's experience, every-single-one[...]it is time for you to understand this[...]As the people who adore you stop adoring you, as they die, as they move on. As you shed them, as you shed your beauty, your youth, as the world forgets you, as you recognize your transience. As you begin to lose your characteristics one by one. As you learn there is no-one watching, and there never was...you think only about driving, not coming from anyplace, 

not arriving in anyplace, just driving.Counting off time. Now you are here, it's 7:43. Now you are here, it's 7:44. Now you are...gone.” 

I've taken this excerpt from the film “Synecdoche, New York”, a Charlie Kaufman picture. 

I wrote about it once before, how it resounded with me, and I'm really feeling it right now.

It seems like not enough people are taking the time to smell the roses. Work, work, busy, busy, party, party. Travel to places that get decent reviews. Making plans; not exploring. Putting off doing the things that should matter to you and resonate with your being--ultimately life is your journey.

Out of the infinite universe, and what is known of it (what we know of it),  out of all the elements--I am Aaron, the product of the correct elements/conditions/time/place and I have LIFE. After all of that evolution, here I am, a conscious being. I read an article where some scientist said, "Under the correct conditions life is 99.9% possible. It is impossible to not facilitate life under the correct conditions." I paraphrase.

Certainly there could be ancient and concurrent alien civilizations that have thrived and evolved to & past the point of being conscious beings, using tools and creating things. Fabricating matter with their minds. Creating life out of nothing. Shit, there probably are some now. Not that it matters.

People have been in your life and will continue be, but at Your end You will be on Your deathbed. Then you'll realize that there hasn't been anyone else who will have had or will ever have had the experience that was your life. Don't deny yourself of any joy. Maybe unless it's at the detrimental expense of others. Avoid being an asshole when necessary.

I guess I'm out of my mind right now, and sporadically playing Mass Effect lately has my inner science fiction/philosopher wheels spinning.

Blogging for My Own Good.

I've decided to find a new online realm for my blogging needs, and Blogspot seems to be hot at the moment. So here I am. I'm not entirely sure of  how long, but I think I utilized Myspace for a solid five years for all of my blogging needs, minus the occasional Facebook note. I'm currently counting the days until my Myspace blog ceases to exist (I'm not really counting). I've read that the fate of Myspace is in the air, but it's impending demise seems all but uncertain. As Myspace has been experiencing it's death-throes over the past few years, my interest in maintaining a consistent blog has waned considerably with it.

Over the years I've seen the rise and fall of many blogging/social networking websites/utilities. I remember being addicted to posting on Modblog many years ago, which might as well have never existed according to the results of the google search I just did on it. Before that I maintained a Geocities personal webpage, which has also been lost in the ever changing cyber-scape.

 I don't care about the death of any of these websites, but I have grown tired of investing myself in my writing and losing it. I'm sure if I were to read any thing I wrote six, seven, & eight years ago I would be embarrassed by my overly critical, hypocritical rantings--hardly insightful insights spanning across all the dark crevices of life, courtesy of a sixteen year old virgin, nary a perspective on life. Back when Maddox would get a million views for every new post within a day's span. I think he is going the way of Myspace nowadays. I sure had a lot to say though, and I did.

Here I am now, 24 years and 3 days old--not quite looking my college degree in the face--but I can smell that it's just around the corner. Here I am thinking I need the therapy of a regular blog, something that I can put some time into here & there, and get a sense of accomplishment. I think it's important to let your existence be known, & bloggin' is a always decent start for me.